I have decided to write these blog entries, despite the fact that I haven't pulled the pictures off of my phone yet. Hopefully, I remember to upload the pictures here once I have. If I don't, you have my permission to remind me.
I'm going to compose this message using some of the notes I took on the trip. I will compose it as if I am still on the trip, writing from the road. This trip ended Sunday.
Day 1
Mesquite
Today, I've been driving, and mostly that's it. I was able to head out from work a bit early, and just hit the road. I stopped briefly in Cedar City, but was too late to catch any plays (though I've been thinking I'd like to).
There are a lot of things on my mind - and though I'm using the concert tomorrow as a justification to the trip, a lot of the point is just to get out of town, and clear my head. It used to be I could just drive to Salt Lake, and feel like I was "out of town." Now it feels like I have to cross state lines. The world keeps shrinking, for me and for everyone, I think.
North America used to be a "New World." I don't think that was metaphor. I think it was so distant that it really seemed like an alien planet does to us now. It's the details of the word "world" that is changing. It makes me wonder where we'll be in another three hundred years. If someone will be writing in their blog, "I used to be able to hop to China and feel like I was out of town. Now I feel like I have to break through the stratosphere. . . ."
I'm staying in the Virgin River hotel. You have to love how cheap hotel rates are in Casinos. I was intending to Couch Surf, but I didn't plan that out very well, and didn't really push to contact people, so now I have to grab a hotel. It doesn't bother me. It's only $40 for the night.
Before I came to my room, I decided to play some poker. I played for a couple of hours, and lost $200. I have never lost that much at a Casino before. I think the most I've lost before this was $40. It's okay, though. It's one thing I find I'm liking about myself. I don't get worried about material things. I wouldn't have played with the money if I couldn't afford to lose it.
The driving has been really nice. I've been listening to a lot of music. It really gives me time to clear my head. It really gives me time to think things through, and decide what I want out of life. My life has been confusing recently, but this has helped. I've made some decisions, and I feel good about those decisions.
I've also determined that I like gin and tonic. See . . . this journey has been packed full of discoveries.
On the subject of being a "real boy," I've started to make some good realizations. I'm starting to figure out which things are real, and which ones aren't.
For example, I'm not confident - but I am brave. I don't think you can fake being brave. I'm not friendly or outgoing - but I do care deeply about other people. I'm wondering if I'm charming and charismatic. It's something I really do want to be, but I don't know if that was just my persona, or if it was really me.
I wonder if I'm really an extrovert, because when I'm only saying things that I want to say, I don't talk very much. I actually prefer that. I've been wanting to be more quiet. I guess that makes sense that I'd like it more if it was my more real nature.
I guess I'm figuring out, I can still be the things I want to be. In fact, far more - that's the point.
I'm going to compose this message using some of the notes I took on the trip. I will compose it as if I am still on the trip, writing from the road. This trip ended Sunday.
Day 1
Mesquite
Today, I've been driving, and mostly that's it. I was able to head out from work a bit early, and just hit the road. I stopped briefly in Cedar City, but was too late to catch any plays (though I've been thinking I'd like to).
There are a lot of things on my mind - and though I'm using the concert tomorrow as a justification to the trip, a lot of the point is just to get out of town, and clear my head. It used to be I could just drive to Salt Lake, and feel like I was "out of town." Now it feels like I have to cross state lines. The world keeps shrinking, for me and for everyone, I think.
North America used to be a "New World." I don't think that was metaphor. I think it was so distant that it really seemed like an alien planet does to us now. It's the details of the word "world" that is changing. It makes me wonder where we'll be in another three hundred years. If someone will be writing in their blog, "I used to be able to hop to China and feel like I was out of town. Now I feel like I have to break through the stratosphere. . . ."
I'm staying in the Virgin River hotel. You have to love how cheap hotel rates are in Casinos. I was intending to Couch Surf, but I didn't plan that out very well, and didn't really push to contact people, so now I have to grab a hotel. It doesn't bother me. It's only $40 for the night.
Before I came to my room, I decided to play some poker. I played for a couple of hours, and lost $200. I have never lost that much at a Casino before. I think the most I've lost before this was $40. It's okay, though. It's one thing I find I'm liking about myself. I don't get worried about material things. I wouldn't have played with the money if I couldn't afford to lose it.
The driving has been really nice. I've been listening to a lot of music. It really gives me time to clear my head. It really gives me time to think things through, and decide what I want out of life. My life has been confusing recently, but this has helped. I've made some decisions, and I feel good about those decisions.
I've also determined that I like gin and tonic. See . . . this journey has been packed full of discoveries.
On the subject of being a "real boy," I've started to make some good realizations. I'm starting to figure out which things are real, and which ones aren't.
For example, I'm not confident - but I am brave. I don't think you can fake being brave. I'm not friendly or outgoing - but I do care deeply about other people. I'm wondering if I'm charming and charismatic. It's something I really do want to be, but I don't know if that was just my persona, or if it was really me.
I wonder if I'm really an extrovert, because when I'm only saying things that I want to say, I don't talk very much. I actually prefer that. I've been wanting to be more quiet. I guess that makes sense that I'd like it more if it was my more real nature.
I guess I'm figuring out, I can still be the things I want to be. In fact, far more - that's the point.
