Tenken at Heart

I'm so glad your grandfather is doing better. Als...

2010-08-23T12:27:17.157-06:00

I'm so glad your grandfather is doing better. Also, I think this is a really great post; I agree very deeply with a number of your insights.

It's funny how that works, isn't it? You (by whic...

2010-08-23T12:21:16.972-06:00

It's funny how that works, isn't it? You (by which I also mean, I, and lots of people) can point to all sorts of things about yourself and say, "THEY should respect this!" and of course it doesn't work. Utlimately, what you're worth as a human being isn't about where you've been or what you've done, and I think the emphasis on concrete accomplishments degrades your sense of self-respect, in the long term. Because if you're like me, nothing is ever going to be good enough for the internal critic. And what really matters--strangely, what really commands the respect of others--is the how you think of yourself. As far as I can tell, people respect me if I'm accurate about myself, and have a clear sense of my own values, which I act on. . . and that's all it really takes.

I am the same way, I could go without sex for a mo...

2010-07-22T00:02:01.023-06:00

I am the same way, I could go without sex for a month, and not even notice. And that is in no way caused by my partner being "bad" in bed at all. Just wanted to clarify that.

I think that sex should come after you feel something, feel a lot of something, for your partner. This because I honestly believe, that no matter how "open" and "understanding" you are, you're not going to respect someone as much who is willing to just drop their pants on the first, second, or third date. I also feel this way because I am of the rare type among females who doesn't attach emotions to sex. If I have sex with someone, I don't immediately form attachment to this person. I can drop it and never see them again, and not care. So I need to have the emotion before sex, otherwise it is pretty much meaningless.

Did you eat a Doughnut when you got to the falls? ...

2010-06-09T12:46:12.680-06:00

Did you eat a Doughnut when you got to the falls? Because it just seems like that would be an appropriate thing to do.

Half the reason I enjoy hiking is because of the awesome injuries I get.

I wanted to update that I have decided to go for t...

2010-06-01T18:22:14.275-06:00

I wanted to update that I have decided to go for the short story titled "The Story of a Leaf," located at http://tinyurl.com/lsweinet.

This sounds a lot like Dave Ramsey's plan, did you...

2010-05-21T01:19:36.534-06:00

This sounds a lot like Dave Ramsey's plan, did you listen to that book? Are you still filing bankruptcy?

Hey, what do you know! While it's not as much as ...

2010-05-11T12:12:38.538-06:00

Hey, what do you know! While it's not as much as steak, a 3oz cup of broccoli contains 3g of protein, 3g of fiber, and 30 calories. That's epic.

A cup of spinach is even more ridiculous, with a gram of fiber and a gram of protein for one cup, which is just 7 calories. The cal/protein/fiber ratio is awesome on both those. Thanks for the recommendations!

I read somewhere that an ounce of broccoli has mor...

2010-05-11T11:10:29.575-06:00

I read somewhere that an ounce of broccoli has more protein than several ounces of steak, but I could be making that up. Also, spinach. Or maybe spinach just has lots of iron. Hey, I'm going to go eat cookies now to make up for my sad sad lack of knowledge.

Sounds like you've got a killer schedule in front ...

2010-04-27T16:52:37.567-06:00

Sounds like you've got a killer schedule in front of you. :)

I know how you feel. I have been dying to get bac...

2010-04-27T16:34:17.229-06:00

I know how you feel. I have been dying to get back into school since I left. I am starting in August and I seriously can't wait. I will probably be there for an extra semester just because I am letting myself take "fun" classes that I want to take - a new language, a violin course, stage combat... oh yes.

D&D is an awesome way for fun and social interacti...

2010-04-26T11:40:50.463-06:00

D&D is an awesome way for fun and social interaction and...awesomeness. We had a campaign going last year and it was great. Everyone came over to our house, I cooked a "medieval"ish dinner, and we'd play.

I never understood the appeal of World of Warcraft. Mostly because there is no end to it - I hate games like that. Most of my college friends were hooked on it, but I'm glad I managed to stay away.

I should _hope_ I've grown up since then. I'll ad...

2010-04-02T20:49:17.417-06:00

I should _hope_ I've grown up since then. I'll admit, that phase of my life, despite my youth, holds some of the experiences which are most unpleasant to recall . . . largely because of mistakes I made.

I'm really curious, though (and I mean this in the most social and friendly sort of way): Who are you? :)

So I've been stalking your blog, and have to say t...

2010-04-02T19:58:45.832-06:00

So I've been stalking your blog, and have to say that you have really grown up. I guess since it's been 6 years since PHS, that makes sense. Anyway, you seem like a cool dude and I'll keep reading.

Fair enough. ^_^ I find argument is sometimes a ...

2010-03-25T15:25:38.022-06:00

Fair enough. ^_^ I find argument is sometimes a great path to learning, so if you want to, feel free to do so.

I disagree with you on a lot of points, but seeing...

2010-03-25T14:17:40.024-06:00

I disagree with you on a lot of points, but seeing as I have not researched my position fully, and arguing politics is usually a fruitless endeavor, I will remain silent.

Thank you for taking time to respond! I see your p...

2009-12-08T08:00:33.359-07:00

Thank you for taking time to respond!
I see your point that we often put things in our body's that do us harm.
I guess I just try to justify my sugar and fast food I eat.
It still surprises me however that people knowingly choose to smoke when there is a list of medical conditions it can cause that no amount of exercise and sometimes even quitting can't change, the damage is done.
Good luck deciding if you are going to give it up or not. My vote, if you care, is quit. Your to good for cancer!
PS way to go on the weight that is an incredible achievement!

If chamomile had a similar immediate effect, it wo...

2009-12-04T08:16:42.476-07:00

If chamomile had a similar immediate effect, it would be fantastic.

Meat isn't always bad for you, but the meat is not what I'm referring to with Big Macs. It's the deep-fried aspects. The grease and tons and tons of preservatives. Which, no matter how little you put into your body, is still bad for you.

I don't support Big Tabacco. I don't buy cigarettes, and when I do smoke, it's imported stuff (from Belgium, typically) that gets rid of a lot of the additives.

Trust me, I try to find the healthiest alternatives at any given moment. Every once in a while, that's smoking. I still haven't decided whether or not to drop it. It wouldn't be a big deal to me to drop it, but the anti-smoking propaganda isn't going to be the reason I do it, if I do.

Love ya! :)

Gee Rob, I'm gona start smoking now... No, not rea...

2009-12-04T07:48:27.661-07:00

Gee Rob, I'm gona start smoking now... No, not really. The truth is, no matter how little you smoke, you are still putting junk that DOESN'T NEED TO BE THERE into your body.

Your comparisons, I'm sorry, are off.

When eaten in moderation, meat is not bad for you. In fact it offers protein that gives energy and builds muscle which I would venture to say is a good thing. No amount of smoking (or the second hand smoke you're putting out) is good for you. If you're having problems with stress, binge eating, cutting, etc. there are supplements that can be calming (i.e. chamomile) or even anti-depressants that won't kill you or anyone else in the long run.

As far as your feelings on fast food chains (some of which I share), Big tobacco (whom you now support) has killed far more people than any fast food chain (or all of them combined).

Pollution from transit is a problem, but I also see the incredible advantages we have of living in the day and age of automobiles and airplanes. It's incredible. You cannot convince me that your smoking (even just once a month) is having the kind of positive influence to justify it.

P.S. I love you. Don't smoke. Find healthy alternatives.

I know this sounds like I'm trying to simply knock...

2009-12-03T18:22:49.389-07:00

I know this sounds like I'm trying to simply knock your question aside, but it's meant as a riposte - a parry and a strike - that illustrates something about human nature.

We damage ourselves knowingly all the time. Cigarettes are not worse than many things out there. They are arguably better than some. Are they addictive? Yes. So are sugars and fats and the all kinds of other things that we indulge in. They give us something - in this case, a quick fix that alleviates stress.

It may not be ideal, but it's not the worst case scenario. For me, smoking is a substitute for much worse habits (which for the sake of completeness, I'll mention in passing - they include not eating, binge eating, and cutting). I smoke because it's better than alternatives that are readily accessible within the time and resources I have available. Within resources, I include my own will power to do things that are far better for me, and accomplish the same purpose (relief of stress), such as yoga, reading a fine novel, or going swimming.

So, my point is this: Your statement that it doesn't make sense that we'd knowingly damage our bodies when we know full well how terrible the things are makes perfect sense. Humans, however, don't. We do things that don't make any sense, all the time, because we have a limited ability to cope with existence, handle our lives, and as a result we will take the paths out that are available to us. For some that's cigarettes, for others it's anorexia, for others it's cutting, for others it's Big Macs. All of these are forms of self-destruction.

A little bit of self destruction, now and then, is okay in my book - so long as it's kept under control. It's better than letting your life spiral out of control. One may argue that we know cigarettes are addictive, and can't be kept under control. Keep in mind, I have a cigarette per month. My last cigarette was something like 3 weeks ago, and it was finishing the last 1/3 of one I'd smoked previously. So I would argue that cigarettes are not addictive if approached correctly.

The best movie to watch on this subject is "Thank You for Smoking." It makes some very solid points.

Anyway, looks like you got the essay anyway! Sorry about that.

Hope all is great with you and yours,

Rob

"Rob, This Maren from London. I want to ask you a ...

2009-12-03T18:22:46.213-07:00

"Rob,
This Maren from London. I want to ask you a question. Please know that this comes with no judgment passed, it is just something I have always wanted to ask someone but never felt comfortable enough to do so.
Why do you smoke? I know your parents did not so there was no pre-exciting tendency. I always wonder why when we know how bad it is for you do people start. I get why they don't stop, that it is very addicting. I just don't get it, why start?
Thanks Maren"

Hey Maren,

It's good to hear from you (randomly, out of the blue) like this! I don't have time to give the sort of answer I wish I could give (which would be an essay, not a couple paragraphs), but I'll give it a whirl.

With all we know about it, making the choice to smoke is making a choice to damage your body. In fact, it's a choice to damage your body in ways that may be irreparable, and to subscribe to a product that builds compulsion - addictive properties in people.

The problem with saying that this is sufficient that no one should/would/could do it is that it ignores much of the other things that meet these same qualifications, which we already do. For example, how can we drive our own cars instead of carpooling or taking public transit when we know we're destroying the earth, increasing pollution in the area, increasing our own costs, etc., etc.?

Or, for a more parallel example, how can we eat Big Macs? They absolutely can cause heart disease when had too much. They can cause morbid obesity. They can cause a huge list of things - just like cigarettes. And just like cigarettes, they contain all sorts of disgusting ingredients that do nothing but damage our bodies. In addition, they are made in a way that is meant to increase addictive qualities (ranging from the taste, texture, content, advertising, and accessibility). Yet people eat them, and we as a country have accepted that it's okay to eat them. This to me, as a vegan, is also far worse because it doesn't merely require that people damage themselves - but also that we take life en mass, and beyond that, waste a lot of that life. So much meat is thrown away at McDonalds and Burger King each year, it's absolutely disgusting.

Hey Maren! Sorry it took me so long to respond. ...

2009-12-03T18:11:37.731-07:00

Hey Maren!

Sorry it took me so long to respond. I'm going to copy your post over to the straight edge question and answer there.

whoops that was for the Straight Edge post!

2009-11-26T21:50:02.742-07:00

whoops that was for the Straight Edge post!

Rob, This Maren from London. I want to ask you a q...

2009-11-26T21:47:00.131-07:00

Rob,
This Maren from London. I want to ask you a question. Please know that this comes with no judgment passed, it is just something I have always wanted to ask someone but never felt comfortable enough to do so.
Why do you smoke? I know your parents did not so there was no pre-exciting tendency. I always wonder why when we know how bad it is for you do people start. I get why they don't stop, that it is very addicting. I just don't get it, why start?
Thanks Maren

on the monetary side of things, take a mechanics c...

2009-11-25T20:50:28.769-07:00

on the monetary side of things, take a mechanics class and learn how to tune her up yourself. It's amazing how much money you save NOT taking your car to a mechanic.

This is not the first time I have seriously consid...

2009-11-25T16:33:18.384-07:00

This is not the first time I have seriously considered selling Gem. I keep calculating how it would work.

Gem is so beat up that the most I could really get out of her is $4000, I think. That leaves $3000 that I'd have to re-fi in a signature loan beyond her.

That would mean that my payment drops from $320 to $150, with the same two years left. So that's $170 per month I save. Then the $80 from insurance, $70 per month in gas, and an average of $80 per month in maintenance (for the last year). That's $400 per month.

That $400 per month would stack on top of my average "extra" that I'm using to pay off extra debt - and I would be debt free in June. Student loans paid off by the end of 2010. And that's if I don't get pay raises.

And I'd be able to save up money I actually have to buy a car, instead of spending money that someone's charging me wads of cash to use. And I'd be able to pay for school, a full semester, with the extra money I earn in just a couple of months. I'd be able to live off of part time. I'd be able to save up $1200 per month.

And I'd be healthier.

I've always liked the idea of minimalistic existence. Less rushing, more living.

Still thinking. . . .